Recovering ‘sex addict’ and OnlyFans model, Neyleen Ashley, 34, says she finds real-life sexual encounters to be unsavoury, with the men she meets uninterested in real connections
An OnlyFans model who swore off sex after her last break-up says “no man deserves” to take her to bed.
Despite having droves of fans online, Neyleen Ashley says she finds real-life sexual encounters to be less than savoury, with the men she meets not interested in real connections.
The recovering "sex addict", who has 2.5 million followers on Instagram (@neyleenashley), says that her celibacy journey is also a vessel for inner peace.
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Despite the 34-year-old raking in over around £50,000 per month on the adult platform, and harbouring a "high sex drive", she is determined not to break her vow anytime soon.
"I decided to be celibate after my ex told me he didn’t want to be a father or a husband, and he wasn’t living his truth," the model from Florida, US, told Nude PR.
"I found myself having to scramble for a place to go, after leaving his place and having to go to work and take care of my two kids, 11 and 15, while enduring heartbreak.
"The break-up and pain I endured put such a bad taste in my mouth about sex.
"Now the enjoyment and euphoria I once got from sex is gone.”
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The model’s emotional turmoil was made decidedly worse by a recent tragic loss in the family, one which sparked her ex to flee instead of showing support.
She said: “I was four months into my pregnancy with a baby girl, I even had a gender reveal — but I lost the baby at month four.
“Less than a month later, still bleeding from the miscarriage, my ex told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore.”
While sex had previously brought excitement for Neyleen, the shock from the split with her ex now makes her worry about who she is sharing her bed with – and if they are “using” her.
She said: "I'm afraid of people that just want to use me for sex and never get to know me as a person, or my heart.
"I believe that energies get transferred through sexual intercourse and throughout the last few years, sex made me feel empty afterwards.
“Never fulfilled, never loved… I felt like a rag doll.”
Neyleen, who has always been monogamous, says her celibacy vow has also helped her identify sexual urges that might otherwise have fed into her recognised “sex addiction” – and developed a personal relationship with herself.
She said: "I was a sex addict for a long time.
“I couldn’t leave the house because I was at home masturbating and had to have sexual release multiple times a day, if not I just couldn’t function."
"It felt like a cigarette I had to take a puff of, or I couldn’t go about my day without my fix.
"That also came with the attention I was trying to receive from men, the sexting, the pictures back and forth, the dopamine hits I got from successfully pursuing them.
"But still left me starving, because I was settling for crumbs in people, instead of loving myself.
"Now I only love myself – in every way – I’m practising self-healing, self-love, and self-soothing, and giving myself the energy I previously gave to others."
Despite her current lack of sex, Neyleen insists she is still nurturing her dating life, with her last date being a week ago – and hasn't given up entirely on finding something “more meaningful”.
She said: "I find it [dating] difficult because I instantly tell anyone that’s remotely interested in me that I’m celibate, but when we hang out, it always ends up that they want more.
"They try to convince me that my celibacy journey will end with them, that I won’t be able to resist – but I’m a Leo, and if there’s one thing about Leos, it's that we’re hard-headed.
"When I’m met with kindness, and understanding people, that’s what they will get in return.
"Sometimes I feel like I want to give in, because it’s what I’m used to, but the benefit is I don’t have to feel like a chore to these men that don’t care about me.
"If I could stay celibate forever at this point, I would.
“But who knows – this is a new journey for me, and I’m loving it more than I love sex."
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